nimras23

I confess, I chose this one simply because of the name. Bead Breasts. Seriously. The full name is GODDESS WEIGHT LOSS BODY BEAUTIFUL SPELL bead breasts, but if you read the fine text, it also does the ... erm... posterior region.

As all usual, italicized text is my comments, while the rest is a copy and paste of the auction itself, in all of it's glory.

( Though I am not going to post the pictures, because then I'd have to raise the rating of this blog from PG-13 to M for (im)mature. )

So if we go with the "random capital letters are a secret code" theory, any guesses as to what it says?

Yes, it's another "bring your ex back" spell. I find them hilarious -- Don't Judge Me. The one that really grabbed my attention on this one wasn't the all caps, nor was it the vivid use of red font, or even the fairy graphics. It was the phrase of, AFTER COMPLETION OF THIS SPELL YOUR LIFE WILL BE PERMANENTLY STAINED WITH YOUR LOVERS LOVE & COMMITMENT ~ FOREVER !

(As per usual, all italic text is me, while the rest is a copy and paste from the auction).

( I confess, I keep imagining that it is like a furniture varnish. )

("I don't know how the new one will be, but'll never be worse than that freak there with his tape recorder."

"Joseph's not really a freak. He's hurting, that's all."

"It's been two months since they broke up, and he still shows up every day. He likes to suffer !)

It's kind of terrifying to realize that tomorrow is my last day as an undergraduate. O_o Once I'm though with school, I'm kind of debating setting up a Failed Spell site, or something of the sort....

I also plan on working out more, and eating better, since I'm no longer going to be stuck at the school lunch hall for lunch. Speaking of which, I found a nice spell called, I LOVE MY BODY!

As always, italicized text is my (usually snarky) comments, while the regular text is a copy and paste.

( And by love my body, I mean I hate it, and want to charm a new, skinny, body that I will love )

You may feel the presences of the spirits I work with you around you during your spell casting and afterwards! This is how for real this is!"


The phrasing, it confuses me. She's doing far casting (as in, she's not coming to your house to cast these things) and yet she says she's "with you around you".... She's a ghost!

Sorry, I have been neglecting you dear journal. I have been busy with my last two months of school... But soon I shall be FREEEE!

But first, I have a find for you today:

HAUNTED PSI VAMPIRE astral travel telekinesis healING

"You were brought here for a reason.

FOR THIS KIND OF KNOWING!!!

You will grow stronger in mind, body, and soul and yes, have unusually long life. You will even heal faster and be able to heal others by directing your energy. You will have increased intelligence. Great beauty and see the beauty of others!!

Greatly increased psychic abilities. This includes reading peoples minds, telekinesis, Lucid dreaming, astral travel, and even Levitation!!!!

The ability to communicate with animals, plants, spirits and supernatural entities. You will be able to see and hear what others are thinking with eASE!!!

Sexual attraction/lust/seduction. Yes, a vampire is very seductive and has the powers of persuasion on their side!

Increased luck, and ability to gain money/wealth. Yes, with this power comes the power to draw to you all the good things in life!!!!

This vessel will transfer onto you all the powers of the Vampire, without actually turning you into one. That is because this is a Psi-vampire. This Vampire feeds off of energy of others. No, they will not harm you or your family and some feed off of different energies. That will be listed with each amazing one as well. All the powers of the Vampire will be given to you.

9648 years old

This means he was born in 7636 BCE. That is nearly two thousand years before any written language. You know, like calendars, where one could keep track of their birthday.

Born in Romania

About the Vessel: This vessel is amazing with pulsating power. You can carry it in your pocket or can be worn by a man or woman This vessel is ring about size 6.5 that can glows as it pulasates.

he will appear as a man with long very dark brown hair and eyes

The question is, does he "glows and pulasates" when he appears?

Each item comes with a complete access to bonding ritual, name, techniques, and all the information you need!

Do you seek knowledge and power???

Do you want to advance your abilities to see and know!!!

He can change your life forever and bring you the abilities to see and know for yourself!!!

Are you ready for this kind of power????

PLEASE ADD US TO YOUR FAVORITES OR CHECK OUT OUR OTHER ITEMS!!!!

I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS:

If you do not believe, do not bid.

If an item is calling to you, bid, It is for you. LISTEN with your feelings and your gut.

DISCLAIMER

As eBay policy: This item is for entertainment purposes only. No specific results can be Guaranteed. I am not responsible for paranormal activity that may occur. I am not responsible for harm from this spell. This spell is not in place of any treatment or advice of any kind. Please consult your doctor for that. You must be 18 or older to purchase this item.

OUR POLICIES: PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!!!

Payment Policy: PLEASE IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE AND DO NOT THINK THAT THIS ITEM IS RIGHT FOR YOU DO NOT BID.

IF YOU CAN NOT PAY , pay pal, DO NOT BID!!!!

ARE YOU READY TO BE EMBRACED BY HIS IMMORTAL KISS???

Listen to the voices in your head.

I listened. They want treacle tart.

Do you hear him???

"Eat me!" They say, "Eeeet meeeee." The treacle tart is out to ruin my diet.

You were brought here for a reason!!!

This item can really change your life!!!

Are you READY FOR THIS KIND OF POWER???

LET HIM EMBRACE YOU!!!

THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR!!!

This wonderful item and the energy bound to this vessel is Amazing to say the least. You will feel the energy from this vessel even when you do not have it on. And when you do have it on the energy will pulsate through you that is unmatched to what you have EVER felt before!!!"

It's probably a bad thing, but I want a pair of these.

They're animatronic kitty ears! They move on their own! They're a headband! If I still lived in Japan, no one would give me a second glance if I wore them around town!

Make sure you follow the link, and watch the video. They're pretty amazing.

So, it's no real secret that I like Atlus games. Shin Megami Tensei's Persona games are some of my favorite games ever. They've got a new game coming out called Catherine that has sounded pretty interesting. Now I have to get it.
Click the link, you must see all the pictures! :D

"The "Love is Over Deluxe Edition" of Catherine is delivered in a "Stray Sheep" pizza box, fresh from the haunt frequented by in-game boy toy Vincent. In addition to the game, on either Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3, the special package contains a Catherine pillowcase, a large shirt depicting a depleted heart gauge, and Vincent's boxers. (Not boxers with pictures of Vincent on them -- Vincent's dotted underwear that he removed and sent to you.)"

Continuing the theme of Scary Wedding Royal Memorabilia (hey, it's easy to find and mid-term exams are next week) I give you the Prince William and Kate refrigerator.



I swear, I'm not making this up.

I don't know about you, but nothing describes my ideal love life more than a combination refrigeration and freezer unit!

The creators claim that the fridge has "removable bespoke panels" which hopefully means once you've been freaked out too many times in the middle of the night by the huge faces staring at you from your fridge, you can change it to a more soothing image.

Though, of course, now I'm curious as to how well this would work as a diet aide -- I know I would raid the fridge less.

So the big day is on Friday, 3 am my time. Obviously I'm speaking of the British Royal Wedding.

I was never really one of those girls who pined for Prince William, so unlike some girls I'm not feeling the sting of rejection. However, I have feeling the sting that comes from laughing too hard.

Why?

Because of the merchandising of course!

For a mere £500, you too can eat Prince William's (or Kate's) face (or both if you've really got an appetite) -- on pizza!



Just what would all those who are cannibalisticly inclined do if we didn't have Papa John's UK? Musical theater?

Also, are her breasts made out of chopped eggs? O_o

Did you like Aladdin? Ever wish you had a big blue genie of your very own that was as funny as Robin Williams? Then this is the spell for you!

HAUNTED GENIE CONJURING SPELLS COMMAND ALL-MIGHTY DJINN

(My comments are in italics, regular text is just copy and paste from the auction.)

Welcome!

Your Wish Is Their Command!

(Oh! Oh! I wish for proper punctuation across the internet! And world peace as well, I suppose. Than again, I saw that X-Files, so maybe I'll just be wishing for that sturdy donkey and leaving it at that.)

A collection of Powerful Genie Conjuring Rituals, a Welcoming Ceremony, basic information about Genies, and a Connection Excersize to help you bond with the Djinn you Master. Learn to command these Powerful Genies to Grant Your Every Wish! There's no limit to what their Awesome Powers can Manifest! Wealth! Love! Success! Have It All!

(Just what is a "Connection Excersize" entail? I'm quite curious. Is it like magical Jazzercise?)

Printed on parchment paper and nicely bound, your collection will be signed, blessed and consecrated by The Norse Warlock especially for you! It will be presented with a bottle of Genie Conjuring Spiritual Oil and Genie Calling Incense, blessed and consecrated by The Norse Warlock.

(I find his singular The Norse Warlock phrasing interesting. Are there no other Warlocks of Norse decent? Speaking of which, isn't Warlock considered a derogatory term? Doesn't it mean something along the lines of "oath-breaking scum of the earth?"

I know both the Harry Potter market and the Twilight market are big right now. If only there was a way to cash in on both at the same time...

(As always, the italic text is mine, while the regular text is just a copy and paste from the original source.)

Are you a Harry Potter fan? How about Twilight? Better yet, how about both? This bracelet is perfect for fans of both series. The centerpiece of the bracelet can be either the Gryffindor Lion crest or the the Cullen Crest from Twilight. Your choice... If you aren't fans of either series, it's just an awesome looking bracelet!

(Let's see, the Griffindor Lion Crest:

A right-facing gold with brown mane lion rampant on a quartered arrowhead shield with a gold border. Quarters 1 and 4 are red and white fusily and 2 and 3 are red base purple spot ermine fur.

The red represents that someone is a warrior or martyr, and that they have military strength and magnanimity. The gold represents generosity and elevation of the mind, while white represents peace and sincerity.

The Cullen Crest:

A left-facing white lion passant on a black base oval with white downward chevron shield with a white border. Above the lion is a white naked right hand, and on the downward chevron there are three white trefoils.

The black represents constancy or grief, and the white represents peace and sincerity, and the trefoils represent perpetuity.

So they both have ... um... lions. And there is some white on both of them.

Incidentally, the bracelet is a gold left facing crowned lion rampant, on a base silver shield. It doesn't look anything like either crest.

I suppose the true moral of the story is lions = Harry Potter and Twilight, and if you really want to be a "true" HP or Twi-fan, you must go to Africa.)